badly spread marmite on bagels by your mama

is the only thing i could wish for right now,

GOOD NIGHT!

meet me in the back with a jack at the jukebox

thank you, creepy old man.

I was on my way to town, listening to Maroon 5 or something, as per usual, and I head the man next to me saying 'excuse me', so I took out my head phones to listen to him. He was one of those people who ride a scooter for old people, and I think he was {something politically correct for 'simple'} . He said, 'you are seriously beautiful, have a good day'. Now, this isn't exactly the biggest compliment in the world as he was a little odd, and could only have really seen my face for a few moments before saying that, so this compliment was probably based on either my hair or my back view, but it still made me feel a little happy. It was actually really creepy though. So mainly creeped, rather than happy. People can be odd.

Then, in Miss Selfridge, a button fell off the shorts I was trying on (no, I wasn't too fat for them, this was before I tried them on). Wtf do you do? I just put the button on the floor and left. I thought it was suitable.

Also, I have a little bit of an obsession with glittery things today. I got some glittery nail varnish and eye liner and will wear them both tonight with my slightly sequiny top. Apparently, according to Ke$ha on C4 today, who prompted me to buy a lot of glittery things, animals have an instinct attraction to glitter. Tonight will be good.

analyse, over analyse

I have a slight problem. I severely over analyse every situation in my every day life, so much so that everything I do seems annoying and stupid. It means that I never do or say exactly what I want to, because everything is crafted and thought out so much. This, I guess, could be seen as a good thing sometimes; it means I never really put myself on the line too much. However it also means that I'm always kicking myself for not saying what I really felt, and it can be really bad.

What's worst is that I don't even trust my own advice - I have to get at least one second opinion on anything before I go ahead and do it. I am getting better though, figured most people don't care about what I say and do even a fraction as much as I do, so the little things I give myself a headache over probably don't even matter.

I'm buying paint for my bedroom tomorrow, which makes me happy. :)

this is what happens

this is what happens when people throw exams and coursework and arguments at me

the next week I have the worst headache which lasts for days

I guess I could say it's a good thing, as having this headache means I'm not worrying about all that any more (tension headache, it's like your brain not wanting you to be happy but constantly miserable for one reason or another, and when all your worries have been resolved, it decides to give you a headache). But it's actually just really painful and annoying.

So, yeah, that's me moaning. MY POST TOMORROW WILL BE EPIC. I can't post it today, because it could ruin the surprise. Oh, all will be revealed.

mumm-ra

imagine waking up and there she is,

she's wrapped up with a smile from a well placed kiss,

because she loves you and she always did -

oh what a dream but that's just all it is.

this song is really nice

postsecret

Mandifer's top tips on life, ie boys

1: 'I didn't know this when I was your age, but boys are stupid. No, really, they are. They need constant reassurance that you like them, or they will actually just think you don't. They are stupid.'

2: 'You need to think, if they were to do what you're about to, what would you think?'

3: 'Boys honestly cannot see what they have done wrong most of the time. They will honestly believe they are totally in the right about a situation, and really not know what's going on. They are stupid.'

4:'Boys are stupid, you need to make them realise this.'

5: 'I lost out on a lot of things because I was scared of looking keen and making the first move.'

She's all high and mighty now she has a boyfriend, but she is quite right.

it's friday, I'm in love

I don't know why that is this post's name; yes, it is Friday, but I'm not particularly happy about it. Non, I am happy it's Friday, this one just isn't very impressive.

All week, I've had bloody teachers trying to get involved in my choice of 6th form, and it's really unfair. It's not their decision. If I want to move, I will move. Uust because I might doesn't mean I think my school is shit, I just really like the one I might move to. Ok, fair enough, teachers I am 'friends' with, but a random PE teacher who doesn't even know my name giving me and inquisition? Non, merci. It's my choice, leave me alone.

Then, there's this really gay thing, which is just making me want to just sit in a dark corner and sleep (just me who thinks sleeping is the best cure for upsetness and pissed offness?). I don't really understand what's going on, or how we've got ourselves like this, but we both hate it, so what is going on?

quote of the week from my ICT teacher, who is gr8: Random person: 'that girl you just made cry's boyfriend just broke up with her...' ICT teacher: Ohhhhhh piss off, SHIT HAPPENS! Sometimes life is easier if you look at it like that.

++, you're actually gr8, I'm glad we're friends now.

in vino veritas

I do like Latin quotes.

Or this might be Italian, I do not actually know, but it is particularly true to me recently. I have said a few things whilst drunk in the past few weeks, which, had I said whilst is the realm of the soberians, may have caused some very awkward moments and questioning looks. But, whilst in the warm, fuzzy, lovely land of the drunk, are perfectly acceptable and very prestigious thing to say. So, I say, let us be drunk more and talk less whenst we are not.

Also, I want to learn Latin.

off someone who got this off someone else...

So, given, some of these don't quite apply... For example, I do not have any children, nor have I even had my first pay check, but I think these life rules are pretty cuuuute.

plus, I don't care if they're cliché - we all need a bit.

• When in doubt, just take the next small step.
• Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
• Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
• Pay off your credit cards every month.
• You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
• Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
• Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
• When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
• Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
• It's OK to let your children see you cry.
• Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
• If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
• Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
• Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
• Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
• It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
• When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
• Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.
• Over prepare, then go with the flow.
• Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
• The most important sex organ is the brain.
• No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
• Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
• Always choose life.
• Forgive everyone everything.
• What other people think of you is none of your business.
• Time heals almost everything. Give time.
• However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
• Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
• Believe in miracles.
• Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
• Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
• Your children get only one childhood.
• All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
• Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
• If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
• Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
• The best is yet to come.
• No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
• Yield.
• Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

off thissssssssss blog

Why oh why do I not have any time right now?

the girl in the moon

is alone with the stars and the spaceships. The girl in the moon is alone and alive with the dust and the air. Nothing grows, everything is moving, but only goes in circles, and no-one to talk to is reason enough to be blue...

The girl in the moon, with her dreams, has a steel melting smile. The girl with the blues in the moon hasn't smiled for such a long while.

The Girl in the Moon - Everly... so much love for this song!

Even though it hasn't run exactly smoothly, I've had a pretty good weekend. Survived my first important interview, spent £25 well, made some pretty tasty biscuits, watched a few good films, been to a good party, been made a really tasty breakfast by the wonderful Anna and managed not to get all the work done I intended.

I just really want to to be Saturday, because then I can get these looming exams out of the way and my craving for Wagamamas will be fulfilled. and, my 500 Days of Summer DVD will have come and I can watch it with Hannah on Sunday, because I haven't seen her in ages and it isn't pleasing. I really wish she would just get a blog.

she's ridiculous but great.

Days like these

days like these make me think that this isn't actually ever going to work, so what's the point?

But I know that it will. So it's kl. Or it better, otherwise you're gay.

To anyone who cares.

Today, I purchased a playsuit. I probably have posted a blog about my hate for these strange contraptions before, but maybe I am now converted.

It's black. It has daisies all over it. It has frills. It's a playsuit. It's controversial. It's great. I love it. I'm scared to wear it. I need to grow a pair.

Also, HMV 2 for £10 pretty much made my day - Katy Perry and The Sound of the Smiths, oui merci beaucoup.

this is a really volcanic ensamble you're wearing

Can I admire you again today?

It's called a sense of humour - you should get one - they're nice.

Did he have strong lips?

How can you tell?

Could you feel it in your knees?

I could feel it everywhere.

strong lips.

Id've died for you, Andy!

Duckie was the clear choice, I would like to watch the alternate ending.

true story

mushaboom

i got a man to stick it out,

make a home from a rented house,

oh, and we'll collect the moments one by one,

i guess that's how the future's done

you just made me laugh very, very hard.

IF the world doesn't end because it snows, THEN I will have to go to school tomorrow

That, young children, was a hypothetical claim (also known as hypothetical reasoning).

I have a Critical thinking exam on Monday, and it is worrying me. Even if I do a lot of work, I don't know whether it will help because it is such a strange exam. At least it is only half of the A-Level.

The assumption in that paragraph was that I actually give a shit about Critical Thinking.

Is this a reasonable assumption? Well, Critical thinking is a very odd subject, which most universities don't even count. It cannot lead to any job, and is pretty much completely made up - it's as though someone thought, HEY, what can I make a totally pointless and useless exam out of, that no-one even cares about? I know, Critical Thinking.

However, being the nerdy, anti-social girl I am, yes, this assumption is reasonable, I do give a shit, so will probably cry during the exam.

We are friends,

and it is so much better than being anything else.

'anything else', we both knew, was never going to work, and it's just annoying that we had to spend a year hating each other before we got to this friends part.

Like, WTF AMAZON?!

You told me 500 Days of Summer would be released on January 10th... Now January 18th, ARE YOU ACTUALLY JUST GONNA SHIT ON MY DAY LIKE THAT?

This means it't won't come till, like, the 20th at the earliest, so I can't watch it for a whole other 8 days... Like, really, I expected more.

Carpe Diem

There's something I've realised lately. I'm definitely not the first person to realise it; it's not a world changing revelation, but it means something to me.

The thing is, everything's going to keep going. The world isn't going to stop turning, time won't stop for you. Everything is so much bigger than you, you have no control over it. Whatever you do, it's going to be the past in a second, and before you know it, it will be a distant memory, lurking in the corner of your mind. And it's that question you ask yourself; what do I want to remember? When I look back at this situation, what do I want to have said I've done?

Stood there and watched opportunities pass me by, untouched?
Or actually found the balls to do something about it?

You need to act; life is just time, and it's the only thing that we are constantly losing, and there's nothing we can do about it.

Carpe Diem; seek pleasure in the moment before you, with out fear of consequence or failure.

all the boys who the dance floor didn't love, and the girls whose lips couldn't move fast enough

I have no elegance when it comes to telling people how I feel.

I can write 6 page essays about Racism in the US; I can write stories about soldiers in the first world war, but I can simply not word my emotions properly. It just comes out as a load of crap which normally worsens the situation. Nothing I ever say will give anyone goosebumps, make you cry, I just cannot speak very well at all.

I should really just be locked in a library and not bother talking to people.

El Colegio

Oh, start of 2010 school tomorrow. I am not looking forward to waking up at 7am. I am not looking forward to having to have 5 one hour long lessons. I am not looking forward to being told I should have done more work than I actually have.

I am, however, looking forward to seeing my friends. I am looking forward to having a little bit of structure to my day (yes, I'm weird like that). I am looking forward to giving one of my best friends her birthday biscuits I have made her (she doesn't read Blogger, so it's ok).

Start the year positive, school isn't that bad, really.

Good night, it's bed time.

it's like a ten minute dream in the passenger's seat

If you hate the taste of wine
Why do you drink it till you're blind?
And if you swear that there's no truth and who cares
How come you say it like you're right?
Why are you scared to dream of God
When it's salvation that you want?
You see stars that clear have been dead for years
But the idea just lives on...
In our wheels that roll around
As we move over the ground
And all day it seems we've been in between
A past and future town
We are nowhere and it's now
And like a ten minute dream in the passenger's seat
While the world was flying by
I haven't been gone very long
But it feels like a lifetime
I've been sleeping so strange at night
Side effects they don't advertise
I've been sleeping so strange
With a head full of pesticide We are Nowhere and it's Now - Bright Eyes

Water colours. Paint Brush. Spotify.

That is possibly the most relaxing thing I can do. Painting the sea - which only consists of the shades of about 3 different colours - with my amazing (even if only I think so) Spotify playlist. Bright Eyes, She & Him, The Smiths and John Mayer stood out as being espeicaly lovely tonight, and Jordin Sparks actually.

There's a certain day dreaming state that I'm only ever in when I'm painting, I'm concentrated on my picture, yet am totally in a world of my own in my head. I forget how much I love it.

I'm pretty happy today. I saw my family - almost all of them - and I haven't seen two of my cousins for about 2 years, so Eden, who was barely speaking when I last saw her, engaged me in a 10 minute conversation about pesto and cakes. Lovely, isn't it.


Anyway if you actually read this astonishingly soppy post, thank you v. muchos.

You're pathetic.

I know that you don't like me.
I know that you call me a slag and a bitch behind my back.
I know that you pretend to like me to my face.
I know that you have no real reason to hate me, other than a tinge of jealousy and threat, and a stupid hang up.
And I really do not care any more, so can you just fuck off?

two thousand and ten

I think a happy new year is in order! Y'all make it a good'en.

I hosted a NYE party last night, which, not to blow my own trumpet, was rather great. There was the obligatory few who felt ill, a couple of sissy bitch fits and a few obscenities going on in the back garden, but I think most people had a pretty darn good night. I certainly did.

Just for a bit of cheese, I wouldn't want to bring in the new year with any other people.

5 New Year's Resolutions:

1) Take really good care of my teeth. I'm pretty awful at dental hygiene.
2) Spend more money on underwear and perfume, and less on alcohol and food.
3) Never wear a bra that doesn't fit perfectly again.
4) Stop running away from good things because it scares me.
5) Do more baking.

I have an image of what I want 2010 to be like for me, so that image is my New Year's Resolution.